1. trust
Trust that all will work out. Trust that everything is as it is supposed to be – no matter how impossible that may feel at the moment.
2. accept
Acceptance is the key to letting go. Accept your life exactly as it is, accept yourself as you are with your imperfections, and accept others just as they are.
3. surrender
You don’t have to be right always! It is okay to let someone else voice his or her opinion. It is okay to bite your tongue in order to preserve peace. You can choose not to feed your ego’s need to feel superior. Surrender to your higher self and intuition – you will know what to say or do and what not to say or do.
4. count to three
If you feel that you are being provoked, blamed, or put on the spot and know that your reaction might bring forth an argument or negative emotions, count to three before you utter any words. Better yet, count to 10! Collect your thoughts and decide what your response will be. Remember, the goal here is to learn to let go and to grow – not to feed the ego! At the same time, it is important not to continuously subjugate and repress your feelings. This is just to suggest, that counting to three might give you a little time to cool down and reassess the facts – engage or walk away.
5. mimic nature
Spend time in nature. See how beautifully and effortlessly the plants and the animals adapt to their surroundings and to change – without questioning, judging, or fighting it. See how nature renews after winter and how everything comes back to life after a storm or a drought. Watch the trees bend in the wind and the fish swimming with the flow of the river.
6. live in the NOW
See your life as a multitude of moments in the now. The present moment is only what ever exists. Life is always now. Without dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, just focus on this very moment – for that is all that really matters. When you live in the now, you can more easily let go of what was and what will be.
7. view the challenges as lessons
Our demanding jobs, relationships, and responsibilities could all provide valuable lessons. Most often, the obnoxious bosses, annoying neighbors, high-maintenance partners, and difficult situations are showing up in our lives to help us learn and grow. The closer the person or situation is to us, the more we can learn from the challenges they bring about. As soon as we can accept them as our teachers, we no longer need to fight or resent them.
8. avoid drama
There are some people who love drama – they tend to provoke, blame, and push buttons, just to draw you into reaction and ultimately feed on the drama. Try to avoid or at least limit your exposure to these toxic people. If you find yourself unable to avoid their presence, just watch out for the triggers, remain present, and don’t engage.
9. draw the line
The closer we are to a person or a situation, the easier it is to allow them to hurt us. As humans we have a need to let others into our lives but we shouldn’t lose the ability to ‘draw emotional lines’ and to be able to say: “I love you, but I don’t always love WHAT you do.” There’s a fine line between the kind of behavior we walk away from because it is merely stressful to us, and that which can be deemed toxic. The challenge might be in cooling off enough to make a rational choice before dealing with it and taking the correct action.
10. eliminate stress
Have you ever been trapped in a seemingly never-ending traffic jam on I-75 just when you were already late for an appointment? Then you know that fighting it, resenting it, or stressing over it will not make the problem go away. It will just make you sick. Stress is the cause of many health problems: it can lead to high blood pressure, stroke, heart attacks, obesity, anxiety, or depression. You may not be able to stop stressful situations from happening, but you can decide not to let them affect you. You can choose not to invite the stress in!
11. forgive
Resentment and holding a grudge is just as toxic to your body and mind as stress is! Be forgiving of yourself and others always. Forgiveness is a choice. You don’t have to forget – but you can choose to forgive!
12. be filled with Love
When your words, thoughts, and actions are filled with love, your life in turn becomes filled with love! It may not be easy to resist the ego’s addiction to pain, fear, drama, resentment, complaining, and anger. But if you can disidentify yourself from all these negative emotions, let go of them and replace them with love, the results could be astonishing.
The truth is, these suggestions seem simple enough on paper, but when we find ourselves trapped in a stressful situation, we may not immediately recognize the potential for spiritual growth. We might retreat to repeating what we’ve done, known, and experienced our whole lives. However, we must not become discouraged – we just have to trust that this also is part of our learning experience we call life.